Bullying
Have you or someone you know ever experienced any of the following? |
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If so, there is something you can do... |
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What can you do about it?
- Tell! Talk about it with a teacher, your parents, an adult you trust. Some schools have anti-bullying programs that can help you.
- Keep a list or diary of what is happening to you.
- Ask your parents to visit the school and talk to your teacher about making it stop.
Name calling, yelling insults and spreading rumours can be even more hurtful than physical fights. |
- Tell a teacher or another adult.
- Don't join in and be a bully too.
- Don't get into a fight with the bully.
- Try to be a friend to the other person, even though it might be hard.
Don't give up.
The most important thing to remember is not to give up. The first solution you try might not work. So try another approach until you find one that works in your situation. There isn't one magic answer - but by talking to a friend or an adult, together you will find a solution.For more information visit thinkresponsibly.ca
David's Story
David is a nice guy and a good student in Grade 5 at a local school. He has been going to the same school for six years and he has always gotten along with most of the kids in his class and has friends in the school. But this year a few things are different.Even though David wants to get along with everyone, there is one kid in Grade 6 who has been giving him a hard time. It started out with the other kid bumping into David in the hallway at school and then accusing David of not watching where he was going. Then, a few times the other kid made fun of David at school by picking on his clothes and calling him names like "wuss" and "shrimp." It wasn't too bad at first and David just sort of put up with it.
Then one day the other kid confronted David on the way home from school. He ran in front of him, stopped dead in his tracks and shoved David with both hands. He pushed him to the ground and started a fight.
When it was all over David went home and didn't tell anyone. He didn't want people to think he couldn't take care of himself, and he didn't want to tell on the other kid because he didn't want to be labelled a snitch.
After that things went steadily downhill for David. If the boy threatened David he would tell his mom he was sick so he wouldn't have to go to school. Then a boy David thought was his friend started joining the bully when he made fun of David. Before long, things were out of control and David didn't know what to do.
What advice would you give David if you were his friend?
Advice From A Friend
David's problem might seem too tough to solve, but it's not. Here's what a few of his friends suggested he do.First, and most importantly, he has to tell someone about what's going on.
David made a decision to tell his parents what was happening. As soon as he did that, he felt like a big weight was lifted off his shoulders. It was no longer just his problem. Now he had someone he could talk to and help him figure out what to do.
Together they figured out some things David could do to try and deal with the bully.
David realized that fighting the bully wasn't an option for him. The other kid was a lot bigger and had friends who might gang up on David. First, he decided to talk with his former friend who was going along with the bully. David waited until the friend was alone then asked him why he had turned on him and had begun making fun of him. David's friend seemed kind of embarrassed and he hadn't realized how bad it made David feel. His friend said he felt good when a boy in a higher grade included him in his "games." But, now that he realized it wasn't funny, he would stop.
Next, David talked to his friends about what was going on and they decided to stick together.
Once his friends realized how bad things were they made a pact to stick together. They ate lunch together and walked home from school in a group. The next time the bully tried to pick a fight with David, they all ignored him. When the bully tried to get David's friends to join in, they said they thought what the bully was doing was wrong. Pretty soon the bully lost interest and the bullying happened less often until finally it stopped altogether.
Pretty soon the bully moved on to someone else.
Even though David was off the hook, someone else was now being bullied. He couldn't stand by and let the other kid fend for himself. So, David and his friends got together and decided to stick up for the other kid. Pretty soon the bully got the message.
Angela's Story
Angela is a bright and attractive Grade 6 student who has just moved to Calgary. A few weeks ago she started at a new school. It was hard enough leaving her friends behind at her old school and now she has to start over again trying to meet new friends.Angela is usually a bit shy and being at a new school in a new city, she finds it even harder to make new friends. So, when a really cute guy in her class talked to her after she was there only a few days she thought she was really lucky. As it turns out, one of the really popular girls in her new class, Jackie, had a huge crush on this guy.
The next day when Angela got to school Jackie and her friends were standing by the front. When Angela walked by Jackie started whispering to her friends and they all started to snicker and laugh. Angela didn't think much of it at first. Later that morning when they were in class, Jackie's friends were passing notes to each other and laughing. Angela knew right away that they were making fun of her. What was already a hard situation just got a lot worse. For the rest of the week Angela put up with them laughing at her behind her back and their rude comments and name calling. Finally, on Friday when Angela was leaving school, Jackie met her at the door of the school and told her that's what she gets for trying to steal Jackie's boyfriend away from her.
Angela was so upset that when she got home she ran to her room and cried. Her mom heard her crying and went up to her room to see what was going on. Even though her mom was there, Angela never felt so alone in her life.
If you were Angela's friend, what advice would you give her?
Advice From a Friend
Even though Angela thought there was nothing she could do, that wasn't true. Here's what she did.First, Angela told her mom what was going on:
Once Angela told her mom what was happening at school, she didn't feel as if it was all her problem any more, and her mom was able to come up with a few good ideas.
Obviously, Jackie wasn't going to be friends with Angela any time soon, so Angela had to make some friends:
Her mom asked her if there was anyone in her class who didn't seem to be part of Jackie's group. Angela thought of two other girls in her class who seemed nice and who didn't hang out with Jackie. Her mom suggested she invite them over to watch movies on Saturday night. When Angela called them, the girls were a bit hesitant because they didn't want to get involved in the fight. When Angela explained that she wasn't about to go after Jackie's boyfriend, they decided to go over and hang out at Angela's house.
Angela and her mom talked about the situation that started all the problems and Angela had a tough choice to make:
Even though Angela didn't think Jackie had a right to tell her who she could be friends with, as long as she was friends with the guy from her class, Jackie was going to be her enemy. Angela decided it wasn't worth it. She decided that she wouldn't ignore the guy but she wasn't going out of her way to talk to him either. If he didn't like Jackie running his life, he'd have to tell her himself.
The hardest part was coming for Angela on Monday morning when she faced Jackie at school:
When Angela turned the corner to her school, there was Jackie talking to her friends. When Angela walked past them they started making fun of her as usual. She decided it was time to stand up for herself. She told them Jackie looked foolish telling everyone the guy was her boyfriend when he barely gave her the time of day. Angela also said she had no intention of going after the guy Jackie liked. Then she walked into the school and found the new friends she'd had met over the weekend. Angela didn't feel so out of place any more.
Most importantly, Angela decided never to make someone else feel like Jackie made her feel that first week of school:
Angela knew that if Jackie would do that to her, she would probably move on to someone else eventually. If she did, Angela wasn't going to be part of it. Maybe if people didn't go along with Jackie, she wouldn't do it. Besides, Angela didn't want to get a reputation as someone who insulted other girls behind their backs. If someone like Jackie ever picked on her again, at least she'd have some friends to turn to.
Updated: Thursday, May 12, 2011 4:52 PM